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Post by swankivy on May 7, 2010 5:50:04 GMT -5
Sympathy
At Ivy's age, babies don't really understand sympathy. If someone is hurt or upset--even if it's because of something she did--she is still more focused on how they are treating HER than she is on how they feel; she's still unable to fully understand that other people are people. What's one of your earliest memories of feeling true sympathy for another person? Do you know how old you were?
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Post by SHO! on May 7, 2010 17:36:56 GMT -5
SympathyAt Ivy's age, babies don't really understand sympathy. If someone is hurt or upset--even if it's because of something she did--she is still more focused on how they are treating HER than she is on how they feel; she's still unable to fully understand that other people are people. What's one of your earliest memories of feeling true sympathy for another person? Do you know how old you were?
I remember a really long time ago, this one time, I had made some woman cry a lot. I didn't mean to, but I guess my head was just so big that it caused great pain trying to squeeze out of her. I remember thinking, "Wow, look what my head did, her husband's going to be pissed!"
Okay, but after that...
I think that small children that are introduced to the trials of a new baby in the house tend to manage sympathy. Something about a baby crying in combination with your mother exhausted from trying to calm down the baby makes even a very small child take sympathetic actions to try to ease the situation for all.I've seen it for myself with my younger siblings as well as photographic evidence that I did it too. Similar to the photo that came right before this:
"Don't cry, baby, don't cry. It's okay, Nana. see? Baby, went to sleep."[/center]
the one that I sadly no longer possess.
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Post by navian on May 7, 2010 19:15:49 GMT -5
In all my oldest memories of feeling sympathy, I was suppressing or ignoring it. I always got a knot in my stomach whenever I did something to upset my twin sister, one I could never turn upside-down, so I guess she was a sort of stand-in for my conscience during the more troubled times.
It's a weird subject for me. I know I'm not immune to the sensation, or I wouldn't have my stomach churn every time I heard someone's family pet sorrowfully lamenting their complete inability to fend for themselves. And yet, to me, this emotion always seems like a negative thing... The thought process goes something like this:
"Thank you for informing me that you need help. As I am a kind person, I will assist as soon as I am able. If you insist on continuing to emotionally manipulate me even after I've resolved to aid you, I will attempt to intimidate you. If you will not be cowed I will punish you. If you cannot be corrected I will make sure there is a barrier to keep your pleas away from my ears indefinitely."
...I guess I'm /philosophically/ a nice person, but otherwise just very callous. Although it still beats the attitude I was taught in school: 'If someone shows weakness, push and push until they push back, then drop a train on them.' Although a popular attitude even among mental health professionals, I still have no idea what it was supposed to accomplish.
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Post by navian on May 7, 2010 19:33:32 GMT -5
'If someone shows weakness, push and push until they push back, then drop a train on them.' Although a popular attitude even among mental health professionals, I still have no idea what it was supposed to accomplish. Offloading trains on people is a popular hobby! Anyway, my first memories of that were from kindergarten. During preschool I was the most advanced kid there, so I wasn't very social and liked to hog all the toys, regardless of who bawled. I may or may not have been a bit more concerned out on the playground which was less familiar. When I actually got to elementary school, though, there were a lot more activities and tons of things that were all new to me, like computers! I know I started to be more sensitive to others once teamwork became an essential part of my life, it's just unfortunate that it ceased to be after we moved. It'd have been when I was around 5 years old, but I developed pretty slow in most regards. |
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Post by swankivy on May 8, 2010 17:02:15 GMT -5
I don't remember having no sympathy, though having studied child development and psychology it's clear that most experts assume young children don't really have it. When they appear to be doing things to help other people or comfort them, much of the time they're play-acting or reacting like others have reacted to them in similar situations--not really understanding that the other person has feelings or sometimes that the other person IS another person.
I was always an incredibly sympathetic person and would make excuses for people who were jerks to me even though most people would fight/tease back. Even if someone was really awful to me, I couldn't bring myself to hurt them or be cruel to them. I still end up in this situation more often than I'd like, to my detriment, but at least being able to know/sympathize with other people's feelings assists me in writing from different points of view. :/
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Post by synesthesia on May 28, 2010 21:33:30 GMT -5
I think kids at an early age can show empathy, but it takes some time and they need a good example of it. I can't remember my first instance of showing sympathy or feeling empathy and everything was so hazy back then.
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