If you don't want to talk about something and your conversation partner keeps pressing, how do you handle it? If a person is clearly avoiding a topic, do you respect their wish to talk about something else or do you try to get the answers at all costs?
Post by blondiviolette on Apr 16, 2011 1:13:02 GMT -5
Hmm... I can be pretty upfront and get annoyed if someone is talking about something I don't wanna talk about if it's more of them being very critical about something, and I make it pretty clear and say "I don't want to talk about this!" and walk away. But other times if someone happens to bring something up that bothers me I will go along with it and talk back to them about it seeming as they've opened the can of worms. Other times I am very vague and might laugh and not answer that well, like they ask "this this and this?" and I'll go, "Maaayyybe..." or something, which is rather childish, haha. I will admit to ages ago having been very bad with letting other people's needs be met in regards to this type of stuff, have sometimes been the one pressing and not letting it go if someone clearly doesn't wanna talk about something, judging by the not so distant past if someone says they don't want to talk about something then it's the end of discussion or i might let them know that they don't have anything to fear if they are embarrassed and that's why they don't wanna say. Being an open person sometimes i've taken silence/not wanting to talk as an offense like the person doesn't feel comfortable or trust me enough to tell me something. If someone is clearly avoiding a topic and it's something that is very important/life-changing/needs to be talked about and they just wanna bury their head in the sand then i usually end up having to talk about it because it can get kinda crucial, and may end up getting very angry too at their behaviour. But if it's someone else's personal thing that they don't wanna talk about a topic, I'm more likely to just shrug and not worry, if they wanna say it they'll say it, if not, then your ears don't need to hear it, move on.
One on one I don't think I've ever come across a topic that I wouldn't discuss. I try to make it known to people I come across that nothing is too taboo or personal that I wouldn't consider discussing it... in private. I find myself more... brave? Well, more relaxed and open at least, when in a one on one situation. I think it's because it is easier to evaluate another person's reactions and comments when you remove other variables like social etiquette and self-censorship due to others in the group.
Now when I am curious about something I KNOW that if I don't get the answer it will haunt me for years, maybe even the rest of my life. It is inevitable, my mind will run through it again and again and try to come to a conclusion that never came and nothing will satisfy because it will all be speculation.
I got into a debate with a friend over an animated show last summer and I can say with confidence that not one week has gone by that I haven't thought that something else was going on there. But at some point she didn't seem to want to talk about it anymore and dead ended it so it was eventually dropped without conclusion. Things like that are why I'm sure I will be riddled with ulcers later in life.
In the end I will drop a topic if someone seems very unwilling to discuss it, but then I will want to know WHY they are unwilling to discuss it. To some people that may seem like the same topic, but to me it is clearly a new thing. If they then seem unwilling to even tell me WHY they were unwilling to talk about the original subject, then I will let it go on the outside, but to great detriment to myself as it eats away at me internally for the rest of my life.