|
|
Post by swankivy on Mar 12, 2010 23:20:00 GMT -5
Parental Inspiration
If you're a parent or want to become one, how did you make that decision? Did someone else's children inspire you and make you want to have your own (like Melanie is pondering in this week's issue)? If you don't have kids or don't want them, how did your feelings about other people's kids influence your decision? How early in your life did you make your decision about parenthood if you've done so?
|
|
|
|
Post by SHO! on Mar 13, 2010 0:21:30 GMT -5
Well, I am not a parent, but I think I would like to be one. Probably should be one. I decided this back when I began to really notice the world was populated with real people and not just countless faces on TV and that many lived lives radically different from mine. That in some places there actually were families like on TV where everyone cared about each other for a reason (and not just familial obligation), said "I love you" to family members and it wasn't just routine, and actually embraced each other in warmth and compassion. I thought to myself, "Hm, that's how it should be," and that some day I would show my children a life that was only about that and that, unlike my own, I'd be a father that alleviated pain and ignorance instead of having those detrimental factors as a motivation. I think maybe I was nine or ten when I came to these decisions.
It always seems a terrible shame to me that people like the author of this comic and me will probably never be parents, yet so many children wind up under the care of jerks like my father, a "man" with four extremely different children that all have one thing in common. A desperate inclination to be away from his radically excessive selfishness, as well as his negative and sabotaging influence for [the] good and forever.
The best thing about growing up that way is that I try to live my life as a polar opposite to what I knew. I think it makes me a better person, a good friend, a giving sibling, son and partner, and I feel it would have made me a very good candidate for parenthood.
|
|
|
|
Post by customdesigned on Mar 13, 2010 19:08:17 GMT -5
When children grow up with good and caring parents (as I did), there is a very important role that others, including those with no children, play: the Second Opinion. No matter how good your parents are, there comes a point when you notice that they are very different from most of the world. Are they doing it wrong? Finding just one outside person to affirm the things they did right cements those positive values - no matter how counter-cultural.
|
|
|
|
Post by Corinne on Mar 14, 2010 9:56:45 GMT -5
When I was very young, I didn't want to have children because I was afraid giving birth would hurt, but then I realized that was a stupid reason for not wanting children. I've wanted children ever since I decided I didn't care about that. ;D
I wasn't really inspired by anyone else's children, though I always have loved playing with them. I think it was mostly my mother who inspired me, because she did a wonderful job raising my brother and me. I want to be able to share that with my children someday. I have a friend who's a lot younger than me, and I find it amazing to watch her grow and mature, and I love being able to help her through things that I've already been through but she hasn't. I want to be able to help my children develop into good, confident, happy people; I want to be able to share with others what I've received. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful mother whose example I can follow, but I really admire people who grow up in a bad family environment and chose not to emulate it.
|
|
|
|
Post by swankivy on Mar 14, 2010 11:48:32 GMT -5
Just in case anyone wasn't aware, despite the fact that I explore a LOT of motherhood-related concepts through Meri Lin's storyline, I'm not a parent and never have been.  When I was a kid I thought I would be a parent one day, because I figured that's what grown-ups do. Mostly what grown-ups said would happen when I got older was right . . . things I didn't like when I was a kid seemed more appealing as I became a teenager, so I had every reason to think I'd also probably be a wife and mom someday like people "expected." It didn't quite turn out that way, and I'm a lot more married to my various creative projects than I think I could ever be to a person (in a romantic sense, anyway), and I feel like I'd want to give all of my time and love and energy to my children if I had them. I can't say a small part of me wouldn't resent having to drop or significantly reduce the time and effort I give to my projects. I don't intend to have children. I LOVE other people's children and am always squealing over babies, but I don't want any of my own. Once, my aunt told me that I was her inspiration to have kids. My mother is her older sister and had her kids young, and when my aunt was watching me or playing with me, she realized she wanted her own kids. I was kind of surprised to hear that from her while watching her daughter play, thinking I had been the inspiration for her to make this person, my cousin. |
|
|
|
Post by SHO! on Mar 19, 2010 23:13:36 GMT -5
Once you are completely settled into your life, the way you want it to "sail", you should definitely at least have foster kids. Some children would be so lucky to go from the crap shoot of foster care to being raised by you.
I can clearly see you sitting at your drafting table, wearing your glasses (with a "librarian's" chain) mostly now, and yelling for one kid to stop picking on his sister in the family room while you adjust your old lady sweater and try to get Meri Lin's concerned look JUST right.
|
|
