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Post by swankivy on Apr 16, 2010 22:24:05 GMT -5
Introductions
When you meet someone new, do you prefer to be friendly until or unless they prove themselves unworthy? Or do you prefer to stay on your guard and warm up slowly only if the person deserves it? Do you usually know right away whether someone is going to be a friend or an enemy, or do you reserve judgment?
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Post by SHO! on Apr 17, 2010 0:12:31 GMT -5
IntroductionsWhen you meet someone new, do you prefer to be friendly until or unless they prove themselves unworthy? Or do you prefer to stay on your guard and warm up slowly only if the person deserves it? Do you usually know right away whether someone is going to be a friend or an enemy, or do you reserve judgment? I actually do all of those things. When I first meet someone new I almost always get a feeling about them. Something in my mind flags them "bad" or "good" and then I act accordingly. I am very much on guard for the "bad" to try to do something sneaky or jerky and am a bit more relaxed with the "good" ones.
I normally don't act on my feelings either way, not even to tell someone else (unless they've asked for my opinion or I really feel the "bad" person could bring some kind of harm to someone I care about). I sit back and wait for the new "bad" person to do something of note, something that could point out my feelings were right or wrong and determine how much (if at all) do I need to be guarded against this person. Whereas with a person I had the "good" feeling about I readily accept them into the fold of the people I number as friends and maybe even become TOO open right away because I feel they are just the type of person deserving of that kind of trust.
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Post by blondiviolette on Apr 17, 2010 0:53:36 GMT -5
I guess when I met someone new, I'm pretty reserved/guarded and we talk to each other bit by bit becoming more comfortable. With strangers who are very bouncy and happy I tend to get pulled in by their enthusiasm and brighten and therefore hopefully brighten them and we share some good chats and jokes or it could go the other way and I find them obnoxious (if they are VERY LOUD!) although I have been proved extremely wrong in the past with that most definitely. But at first I always have this like blur on with new people, they are basically much the same as anyone walking down the street, you don't know them, they could be anyone, so just wait and see how you react to each other. I do get a sense of whether someone will be a friend or enemy. Sometimes as said above, senses can be wrong but they can also be overwhelmingly right on the mark. I'm friendly to basically every stranger if we get chatting, if they are someone that is connected to a friend then I don't have much or any of a guard up (unless friend has said bad stuff about them but is still close to them then I'm thinking, 'Yeah don't like you much but being nice for friend's sake, you're full of crap aren't you, hmm...") but if they are a stranger out of nowhere I don't necessarily trust them, especially if they are of the male species since many of them have tended to be after one thing or start flirting/acting weird which sounds horribly judgemental but I just go by past experiences and they've proved correct. Basically if people seem decent then my guard will drop but I always have it up to start with and I think that's a good way to be so as if one day you happen to meet someone not so nice at least you know you won't just be leaping head first into a friendly relationship before testing the waters a little. Perhaps if you have been a very open person but got burned you always carry a shield and hope others will carry one too. Not be nasty and spiteful nor snobbish or ignoring someone new, but use your heart and know that most people are just as scared about a new situation as you are and give them kindness, that many people are ordinary humans who are looking for connections/not out to hurt, but use your mind if something doesn't seem right to be able to back away and not carry on with anything you're not comfortable with. I like to think most people have their head on straight and are looking for someone to talk to and that's thankfully the experience I get 98% of the time now. I guess I like most people enough if we get to know each other even if we're completely different people and they tend to like me, but for some reason I've throughout the years experienced the strangers (though very rarely) who keep a distance and act cold around me and not other people and have been confused as to why, so therefore they become an enemy. Maybe some people just think I'm weird, but I give them a chance and act nice to them and if they are rude then not bother, pretty much begrudge them. There is a sweet saying that is around which states: "A stranger is simply a friend you haven't met yet" - the way I react to strangers is probably more like that quote than anything. Every friend was once a stranger, and most strangers who never became friends if they had the opportunity to become a friend is probably someone who was worth always being the role of a stranger because we weren't compatible as friends.
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