|
|
Post by swankivy on Dec 24, 2010 17:06:36 GMT -5
To Blame
Have you ever found out after the fact that you inadvertently led someone to an unfortunate situation through poor advice or some other interference? How about have you ever given someone advice or resources and seen that person succeed? Do you tend to acknowledge your role in these situations, or do you feel a person is ultimately responsible for personal decisions (including whether to listen to you)?
|
|
|
|
Post by SHO! on Dec 25, 2010 5:47:18 GMT -5
I was actually talking about this very thing. Where, trying to fix someone's computer that was horribly corrupted by trojans and ad-ware to the point that they couldn't use their Internet connection or any programs without them rerouting to a browser and a web page, I had to show them a trick for getting around a computer completely locked up by dozens of browsers trying to load at once.
This was a close relative and I instructed them that what was doing was an absolute last resort and that I only did it after a long period of trying everything else I could think of. I further told them that doing what I did was bad for the computer, but I had no choice and I would be checking for any errors that it might have caused and repair them and that it really should never be done.
The problem was that this relative is very impatient and gets frustrated really easily so they began using what I told them not to use as a "fix-all" magic wand. Computer is running a little slow because of too many CPU hogging programs running at once, magic fix-all then start over. Browser not loading fast enough, magic fix all then start over. Graphics editing program doesn't immediately open full and ready upon double-click, magic fix-all, begin again. Streaming movie is skipping and shutting down all the browser windows would take a couple of minutes, magic fix-all. And so on.
Eventually it got to the point where she was doing the magic fix-all during program updates and Windows patches which most likely tore the registry up and was the cause of many BSODs. When I found out what she was doing and suggested that it might be the cause of her computer woes and the reason I said to never do that thing, she proceeded to verbally abuse herself aloud for being "so stupid" (her words). This always bothers me. I don't like when people I respect do that self disparaging stuff unwarranted, mistakes happen and you learn from them. And the more she did it the more I realized my culpability: if it hadn't been for me then she would have never known how to do what I taught and wouldn't be trashing herself because of the error. In the end I always feel as though I am the one that brought the fire, so I should be the one chained to the rock for all of eternity.
|
|
|
|
Post by R on Dec 29, 2010 16:13:49 GMT -5
Gotta do this not logged-in cause of computer, everything is taking too long to load but hey.
I definitely have found out after the fact that my poor advice has led someone to an unfortunate situation. I won't post about it here cause she wouldn't be very happy if she saw it but basically a few years ago, having an answer for a problem a friend was having that she really shouldn't have been told about led her to getting tangled up in a bunch of drama and we talked about it online and she was really worried and eventually thankfully everything was okay. It was my own fault, sometimes I see only one side of an entire square, a friend's side, and by wanting to support them, I can forget the consequences of the people around them, who make up the rest of the square. I have told myself that things will be different and they things can only look up when you acknowledge the problem and work from there. As for people succeeding, well I do my best to be helpful when possible and sometimes my advice helps someone which is nice. Acknowledging the role: I do acknowledge my role in giving people advice or whatever and if I see holes in my advice then I'll go back and correct it to give better advice, but it really is a hit and miss whether people actually do take your advice, sadly sometimes the ones who really desperately need a dose of advicetamin c (lol) are the ones who will not drink it even if they ask and that can be frustrating! I think it is both the advice-giver and the advice-receiver's responsibility. As the saying goes "If I told you to jump off a cliff would you do it?" so if the advice doesn't sound like it would work or isn't right at that point in time then the person has to make a decision whether they want to take the advice on board and through their own actions live with whatever consequences there are and it's the advice giver's responsibility to weigh up whether the advice will be helpful or not and make the best decision they can on what they say and realize they played a role in the other person's decision, they have to accept responsibility just like the one who took the advice, it's a hand-in-hand deal really.
|
|
|
|
Post by SHO! on Dec 31, 2010 21:54:23 GMT -5
it really is a hit and miss whether people actually do take your advice, sadly sometimes the ones who really desperately need a dose of advicetamin c (lol) are the ones who will not drink it even if they ask and that can be frustrating! I think it is both the advice-giver and the advice-receiver's responsibility. |
|
