11/25/11: The One, The Only

[swankivy]

The One, The Only

This issue points out how Alix is the only person in the group who's from this dimension, and he resents it. But in some ways, each of them is "the only" one with a certain trait. What trait of yours is often unique to you in a group, and are you usually proud of it or does it make you self-conscious?

[R]

Though i would not say that my friends are such that they would point this sort of thing out and i don't feel uncomfortable like they're judgemental or anything, in the past and still to this day by acquaintances etc the trait that is unique in a group is that i'm the 'shy' one. I don't appreciate being called that. It makes out that you're spineless and just standing there not ever having anything to say or are embarrassed around others "Oh dear, your compliment made my face all red, I must run and hide under a parked car or something". It seems like you're a doormat almost. If I have something to say I'll say it, it's better than just saying anything for the sake of it, that would be pretty stupid. I don't bounce around and be a life of the party and that annoys some people and they don't wanna be around you cause they think you're not as 'awesome and fun' as them, they like loud, brash, confident people who like to get drunk a lot, and that's okay, if that's the type of company they want and appreciate then good luck to them and they can be rid of me. But i know my true friends and they are the ones who you don't have to worry about stuff like that with. I am rather docile, don't always have a lot to say, but will at times and try if there are awkward silences, and if others want to scrutinise and bring out the 'shy' card and critisise saying that their other friends are better cause they are not shy, then they'll probably find me pulling away from them and not wanting to be around them, that is, if they haven't already done that first which does happen every now and then but again, not with true friends.
Also bad is when there's judging from those who are hypocritical or ignorant. Sometimes 2 people are engaged in a conversation where they're asking each other questions and telling stories (for example about classes and some teacher you've never heard of so you don't have an opinion) back and forth and then one of them has the nerve to say "Hey you need to speak more, but I know how it is, cause *puffs out chest* I used to be shy but I got over it" or something (okay so you would appreciate me cutting into your conversation and interrupting a 2 way convo, huh?), or they judge what you do based on watching you for a couple of minutes but miss a whole alotment of time when they weren't watching so they judge you as 'shy'. So yeah, go ahead people and bring out the 'shy' card to give to me, I might just bring out the 'judgemental douche' card to give to you. *shrug*.

[swankivy]

I know EXACTLY what you mean about the "shy" thing! It's really annoying that at group gatherings and parties people assume that someone who's quiet is therefore uncomfortable, afraid, or too awkward to say anything! It's not like being quiet means you're not having a good time or that you need to be "brought out of your shell." In fact, insisting on dragging the quiet people out and focusing attention on them is really insensitive and obnoxious. It's odd how really outgoing people seem to think everyone wants to be like them. Kind of reminds me how I had a roommate my senior year of college who used to tell me she was so "sad" for me if I stayed in on a Friday night, and used to try to drag me out to parties or clubs with her like she just had to take "pity" on me. I would much rather be home doing what I enjoy than trying to be social with people I don't like or know. It's so weird how that type of person has no ability to imagine that other people might actually not consider the same things fun, and can only imagine that other people must feel like they themselves feel if they don't get to go out and party.